Cruel Summer Read online

  Love,

  Colby

  July 11

  Dear Mom,

  Yes, I talked to Dad on the phone, and no, I didn’t learn anything about his new girlfriend because he faked another call and hung up before I got a chance to ask. Though to be honest, I’m really not so sure I want to talk about it anyway. I mean, it’s really kind of inappropriate, not to mention creepy.

  Because the truth is, if anyone in this family should be dating—it’s ME!

  I’M the teenager.

  I’M the one who’s supposed to be single.

  And I really hate to break it to you, but you and Dad already had your chance, you already got your shot at being sweet sixteen, so it seems pretty unfair that you pick NOW to attempt to do it again.

  You don’t get to be a teenager twice, Mom. It’s just not right.

  And by the way things are going, I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before YOU decide to hook up too, so I’d like to make it clear, right from the start, that I’m really not interested in hearing any of the gory details.

  Because the truth is, I’m just not up for any of this.

  Probably because I didn’t ASK for any of this.

  And excuse me for saying so, but in light of recent events, I just can’t help but think that the only reason you guys sent me away to begin with is so you could be free to date, and party, and basically enjoy all of the things that I should be enjoying, only I’m NOT, because YOU sent me HERE!

  Which is so completely wrong on so many levels.

  Ask your shrink, I’m sure she’ll agree.

  Love,

  The Completely Desperate and Absolutely Serious,

  Colby

  P.S. I’m enclosing a picture of this famous church here called the Panagia Evangelistria where the Virgin Mary is said to appear, or where they found an old famous icon of her, or something like that (okay, I don’t really know the history, but that’s not really the point). The point is that every year hundreds no, make that THOUSANDS of religious pilgrims crawl on their hands and knees all the way from the port to the church (which, trust me, is pretty dang far if you’re crawling), just so they can pray. And even though I’ve yet to visit, I’m thinking I might go there today…because as you can see, I’m running out of options, and am desperately in need of a MIRACLE.

  July 11

  To: AmandaStar

  From: ColbyCat

  Re: Thx anyway

  Hey Amanda,

  Good 2 finally hear from U & no, I guess I really didn’t stop 2 think about how your trunk would be so full of shopping bags there wouldn’t B any room left 4 the 4 Sale sign.

  Tho I’m glad 2 hear UR having fun. Those pics of U and Jenna and her cousin Penelope (I didn’t no she had a cousin? I also didn’t no U & Jenna were friends again? When did that happen? Bcuz last I heard you sed U H8D her) at Fashion Island were v cute.

  Things R better here, I’ve made a ton of friends & I’m kinda c-ing someone. But if Levi still wants 2 come, I’m sure I can make room!

  In fact, don’t even mention it 2 him—K?

  TTYL—

  Colby

  July 11

  To: NatalieZee

  From: ColbyCat

  Re: You’re moving?

  Hey Nat—

  While I’m not really sure why the for sale sign is still on my lawn, at this point it’s really between my mom and my dad, since, like I wrote in my last e-mail to you, I’m spending the summer in Greece and I’m far too busy having fun here to worry about anything that’s going on back home.

  And while I truly appreciate your concern, you really don’t need to continue to update me.

  Though if you do feel like directing your concerns to either one of my parents, or, better yet, stopping by my house and getting rid of the sign yourself—that would be fine.

  Hope you’re enjoying the summer.

  Take care,

  Colby

  Circle in the Sand (Formerly Cruel Summer)

  July 14

  Since someone who goes by the name of ANONYMOUS recently accused me of hating Tinos because of the name of this blog, I’ve decided to change it. Which shouldn’t be at all confusing since no one but ANONYMOUS is reading it anyway, and I’m assuming he/she/they have it bookmarked already.

  Anyway, it’s funny because this is also named after a song my friend’s (well, former friend’s) mom used to sing all the time—I guess she was really big on songs about summer.

  So I hope, ANONYMOUS, whoever you are, that you’ll happen to agree that this title is much more neutral, and far less negative, though probably still not quite as upbeat as you were hoping.

  Though maybe I should’ve titled it CIRCLE IN THE DIRT, because as you’ve probably noticed in the photos I’ve posted, there is no shortage of dirt in this place. Also, I recently learned that the Cyclades (which is what they call the group of islands that Tinos is part of) is actually ancient Greek for the word “Circle,” so that seems pretty appropriate too. Not to mention how circles are continuous and have no end, and that’s pretty much how this summer is beginning to feel—like an eternal loop of continuous days with no end in sight.

  Though I’m hoping you won’t read too much into what I just wrote and take it all wrong, because I guess what I’m really trying to say is that while I don’t exactly hate it here anymore, if I was given the choice, I’d still rather not be here at all.

  Though things might just be looking up, since just a second ago, Petros actually smiled and brought me a Nescafé Frappe—

  ON THE HOUSE!

  Maybe it’s because I finally got a tan.

  Maybe it’s because I haven’t been around the last few days since I’ve been so busy going to clubs, the beach, and hanging out with all my friends here, which gave him plenty of time to ruminate on the fact of just how much he needs me, and misses me, since I am his very best customer. But whatever the reason—just know this—it’s really not as bad here as I once thought. But that doesn’t mean that it’s paradise either. It just means that it’s no longer the opposite of paradise.

  And now, for your viewing pleasure:

  1) This is a picture (uploaded from a Web site since I didn’t have my camera at the time) from a club I went to the other night with a friend. And just so you know, there are no age limits here, no I.D. checks, no bouncers, no velvet ropes, no rules, no nonsense. Just equal-opportunity good times for all ages! Viva Tinos!

  2) This is a picture of the scratch Holly Golightly made on my arm that very same night, right before I went to the club. Though it’s actually not nearly as bad as it looks, and it really wasn’t his fault since I held him too tight and I should know by now just how much he hates that. But still, it hurt like you cannot believe.

  3) This is a picture of my aunt Tally and her boyfriend, Tassos, eating some sea urchin he caught at the beach. Seriously, they just pulled them right out of the water, cracked them right open (they have this special tool made just for that specific purpose), then they each grabbed a seashell and used it like a spoon to scoop out the insides, and I watched (and photographed) while they ate it RAW! I admit, I tried a little teensy bit too, but only because they’re always telling me how it’s good to keep an open mind and try new things. But even though I wouldn’t exactly say that I loved it (because I definitely did NOT), I also have to admit that it wasn’t nearly as gross as you’re probably thinking! Though it definitely was a little bit gross!

  4) This is a picture of Agios Fokas, which is the beach I’m heading to now, for the sole purpose of working on my tan, so I can maybe get another free frappe tomorrow!

  Have a good day!

  Love,

  Colby

  July 15

  To: NatalieZee

  From: ColbyCat

  Re: You’re moving

  Thank you for trying to get rid of that stupid for sale sign.

  I really do appreciate it.

  Though I have no idea why they’ve already replaced it with anothe
r.

  But still, thanks for trying.

  Colby

  Colby’s Journal for Desperate Times When She Just Can’t Understand Anything About Her Life

  July 16

  This is how desperate I am—I actually flipped through one of Tally’s New Age, self-empowerment, or whatever you call them books, searching for answers to my current predicament, and even THEY couldn’t help.

  Though that’s probably because I wasn’t exactly sure what to look for. I mean, it’s not like there’s a chapter titled:

  WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE HAS GONE TO HELL AND IT’S OBVIOUSLY ALL YOUR FAULT.

  Though maybe there should be.

  It’s like, when my parents first decided to send me here they tried to convince me that it was MOSTLY so I could experience life in a foreign country and enjoy a relaxing summer, and only PARTLY so they could shield me from what is turning out to be the world’s ugliest legal grudge match.

  And while I obviously did not for one second believe the MOSTLY part of their story, and knew it was actually more about the PARTLY part, the weird thing is, that for a place that’s supposed to be so simple and laid-back and relaxing, how is it possible that my life has become way more complicated here than it ever was before?

  For example:

  1) If I thought I was stressed about holding on to my position as Amanda’s good friend when I was back home, well, that’s nothing compared to how freaked I am now. Because, not only has she not read my blog after that first time (which I now recognize as either an accident or fluke or an accidental fluke), but the few times she’s even bothered to respond to my e-mails, she’s attached photos that, to be honest, kind of hurt my feelings. Like the one of Levi and Penelope at that party. I so did NOT need to see that! I mean, granted, I haven’t exactly confided in her about what happened between me and Levi (mostly because I know better than to trust her), BUT STILL, it’s just common courtesy, heck, it’s common sense! And then when she sent me that pic of her and Jenna and Penelope all loaded down with Bloomingdale’s bags at Fashion Island, all of them happily indulging in all of the summer fun and frolic I’m totally missing—I mean, that was completely rude and inconsiderate. Not to mention that the last I heard she was no longer even talking to Jenna. Just like I was no longer talking to Nat. It’s like we’d both traded them in so we could hang with each other. That was our deal. But from the looks of their little Saturday excursion, they’re now just one big happy family again, and I’m the orphan who got left in the cold. Not to mention how I can’t believe she’s back with Jenna after all of the TRULY AWFUL things she told me about her. And I cannot believe she’s hanging with Jenna’s cousin, Penelope (a.k.a. Levi’s summer fling). Not to mention how if she can take the time to do all of those things then she can also take a few minutes out of her precious day to send me an e-mail and tell me once and for all just what the HECK is going on with Levi and his supposed cruise. And why he hasn’t bothered to e-mail me. And just what, if anything, he’s said about me. Because I’m really starting to go into meltdown mode. But has she bothered to do any of those things? Um, that would be NO!

  2) When I first found out that I was coming here, my worst fear was that my parents might try to kill each other while I was gone. Seriously, they were fighting so bad and so often it actually seemed like they were well on their way to dividing the house right down the center and barbequing the family pets (luckily we don’t have any family pets). But still, it was really starting to mimic this old movie I once saw where the couple ended up doing exactly that, only to end up all tangled up and dead on top of their chandelier (I forget how they wound up on the chandelier, but then again that’s not really the point). The point is, that now, even though none of that happened, it’s somehow managed to get even worse! Because apparently my dad just got a new bachelor pad and a new girlfriend to go with it. And my mom is acting so insanely jealous that she’s started calling me and confiding in me and telling me all kinds of creepy things I never wanted to know about my dad. Like she thinks she’s my friend instead of my mom. And even though it’s true that I’m currently experiencing a shortage of friends, it’s not exactly a crisis, and I’m not exactly looking to her to fill the void.

  3) And then there’s the little matter of the for sale sign, which my supposed good friend Amanda just couldn’t be bothered to remove, but that my former friend Natalie handled right away. And all that does is make me feel that much worse for how our friendship ended, and how she accused me of dumping her and treating her like crap. Which is not even fair since it’s not like it’s ENTIRELY my fault in the first place. I mean, we were both growing apart and wanted different things anyway, which, when you stop and think about it, is really neither one of our faults, because people change and grow and move on and things like that just happen. It’s just the way life is. (Okay, I just reread that last part and now I feel totally creeped out since it’s pretty much the exact same speech my dad gave me about the divorce.) Anyway, all of these things just lead to the next item on my list:

  4) Most of the time I feel like I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m not kidding. I feel like I’m just wandering around, trying to hang on to a home I’ll probably never see again, hang on to a dad who’s more interested in his new life than his old one, hang on to a friend who was probably never much of a friend to begin with, and hang on to a guy who probably doesn’t even remember my name, much less the fact that he spent almost four hours kissing me and trying to take off my dress, before using our last minute and a half together to take my virginity. And no, I really don’t think he’s ANONYMOUS anymore, because that kind of thinking is not only completely delusional and stark-raving mad, but also requires a certain amount of OPTIMISM and HOPE that I just can’t muster. And to be honest, I haven’t the slightest idea who ANONYMOUS is. But with the way things are going, I’m sure it’ll turn out to be some creepy online stalker, someone who’s wanted in all fifty states, including the northern and southern territories.

  5) Oh yeah, and to top it all off, it’s not like I’ve made much of an impact here. Because I really would’ve thought that Yannis would’ve stopped by and/or called by now, but, big surprise, he hasn’t.

  UPDATE!

  Believe it or not, it just went from worse to EVEN WORSE!

  Apparently, I’ve now become so pathetic that even my own rescued kitty doesn’t want to be with me. Seriously, just as I finished writing the above, Holly took one look at me, sniffed my shorts and T-shirt, jumped right off my bed, and scrammed out of my room as fast as he could.

  Like he has a sixth sense or something.

  Like he KNOWS what I am, and doesn’t want to be beholden to a loser.

  Obviously, this is probably a good time to stop writing for the night.

  Circle in the Sand

  Blog Comments:

  Anonymous said:

  I’m confused. From your pictures it looks like you are in paradise.

  Sun, sand, sea, and a kitten…What more do you need?

  Please explain at your earliest convenience.

  ColbyCat said:

  I don’t really know how to explain, because the truth is, you’re right, it is really pretty here. The beaches are nice (except for the rocky ones) and my kitten is adorable (as you can see). I guess, it’s a little more barren and rugged than I usually like, but hey, you can’t have everything, right?

  Maybe it’s just that paradise is more a state of mind than an actual place?

  Anonymous said:

  Interesting…I never thought of it like that.

  Thanks for explaining.

  July 18

  To: AmandaStar

  From: ColbyCat

  Re: !!!!!!!!

  OMG—R U serious? Levi’s actually really coming here & U gave him my e-mail???

  U-R-The-BEST!

  !!!!!!!!!!

  Thank U Thank U Thank U!

  (U sure this is 4 real & UR not messing w/me, right?)

  Colby
r />   July 18

  To: NatalieZee

  From: ColbyCat

  Re: You’re moving?

  Hey Nat,

  Sorry, but I really can’t explain why there was an open house at my home yesterday. Though I do thank you for taking the opportunity to put all the books and CDs you borrowed back on my shelves.

  And to answer your question, yes, I’m having a total blast here. And just in case you’re bored, or curious, or even if you just want to know all the juicy details, you can read all about it in my blog. It’s called “Circle in the Sand.” And NO, I didn’t name it that because of you or your mom or any of those songs she always used to sing. I just needed a summer blog name and it’s the only thing I could think of on such short notice.

  Well, actually, it’s the second name, but whatever, just check it out if you want.

  K—L8R (sorry, I know how you hate that, but I couldn’t resist!)

  Colby

  P.S. Levi will be here soon!!!!! I can’t wait!

  July 18

  Dear Mom,

  For your information I know all about the OPEN HOUSE, which means we seriously need to talk, because NO WAY am I moving.

  I thought we’d been through this already?

  This cannot continue.

  You must stop.

  Please contact me at your earliest convenience.

  Love,

  Colby

  July 18

  Dear Dad,

  Mom had an OPEN HOUSE and I’m holding you responsible. You have to do something to stop her because NO WAY am I moving!

  I thought we’d been through this already?

  This cannot continue. This must stop.

  Please contact me at your earliest convenience.

  Love,

  Colby

  Colby’s Journal for Desperate Times That Require Desperate Measures

  July 20

  I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Seriously, you’d think I’d be happy, partly because—LEVI’S COMING. That’s according to Amanda, who’s still hooked up with Casey who happens to be best friends with Levi who said something about not being able to go to someone’s surprise party because he’s going on a Mediterranean cruise instead.